• Poor Tyrion Lannister. The Halfman can't catch a break to save his life! He single-handedly saved King's Landing in the  Battle of Blackwater Bay , then had his Dad show up and steal all the glory AND his job as Hand of the King! BOO!  Express your outrage at his unjustified termination with our "Reappoint Tyrion" t-shirt. Unless you're really on that bastard Tywin's side. In which case, GO SHOP SOMEWHERE ELSE!

    Reappoint Tyrion Lannister

    Express your outrage at his unjustified termination with our "Reappoint Tyrion" t-shirt.

    Perfect For:

    • Shae
    • Podrick Payne
    • Bronn
    • The Pyromancers Guild
    • Well, everyone in King's Landing, really. Except Tywin. (He doesn't wear t-shirts.)

    Buy:

  • You don’t have to be a  shotgun-toting Clint Eastwood  to strike a little fear in the hearts of all the spastic little obnoxious whippersnappers out there.  Just pop on our  “Get Off My Lawn” t-shirt and some shiny cop glasses and trust us, they’ll know you mean business!

    Get Off My Lawn

    Strike a little fear in the hearts of all the spastic little obnoxious whippersnappers out there.

    Perfect For:

    • Philo and Clyde
    • Imaginary presidents in empty chairs
    • Punks who feel lucky
    • Texas Castle Doctrinists
    • The neighbors of loud party-hosting drunken disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • Joffrey Lied. People Died.   And now, look at all the unnecessary bloodshed that’s taken place in Westeros since King Joffrey decided he knew best how to get ahead.   Join us in calling for him to be deposed!

    Depose Joffrey

    Joffrey Lied. People Died. And now, look at all the unnecessary bloodshed.

    Perfect For:

    • Neeeeeerrrrrrrrrrds!
    • Aspiring politicians who lack the electoral votes necessary to ascend to the Iron Throne of Westeros
    • I don’t know, dragons or unicorns or something
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Like the Hunger Games- many will play. And only one may be left standing.

    The Drinking Games

    Like the Hunger Games- many will play. And only one may be left standing.

    Perfect For:

    • Parents who are nerdy and drunk enough to name their kids "Katniss" or "Peeta"
    • Thirsty Panemians
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • A shirt like this brightens any social gathering.  It lets people know they don't have to worry any more.  You're here.  You're going to make it better- just with your presence.  Because you're YOU.

    I'm Here Now

    Is your very presence a reason for calm? Relief? Joy? Then why not announce it?

    Perfect For:

    • Doctors with messiah complexes, or in other words:
    • Doctors
    • Your ever-expanding ego (note: shirt available in sizes up to 3XL!)
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • Choose the form of the Destructor.  Choose and perish!  Will it be an Elephant? A Jackass?  Or Puffed-up Marshmallow Man?  It doesn't matter- whichever form you pick, it's still a Destructor.  And it's only good at one thing.

    The Destructor

    Choose the form of the Destructor! Elephant? Jackass? Choose! Choose and perish!

    Perfect For:

    Buy:

  • The first rule of Mime Club is…   

(What?  You can't figure it out?  Well, if you're truly stumped, ask a mime to explain it.  THEN beat them up.  Seriously… You know you want to.)

    Mime Club

    (If you don't get it, ask a mime to explain. THEN beat him up. You know you want to.)

    Perfect For:

    • Silent Tyler Durden
    • Marcel Marceau
    • Criminals sentenced to spend the rest of their lives in invisible boxes
    • All of us in whom mimes awaken a childlike sense of wonder and an unrelenting sense of terror
    • Disaffected clown college students

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  • "No refunds.  Cash in advance."  -  If you're not exactly rocking the body of a Greek god, this shirt can be an absolute laugh-a-thon.  The bigger you are, the funnier it is.  (But seriously, if you're all cut and six-packy, don't bother.  It'll just make you look like a jerk.)

    Personal Trainer

    Want to make a quick buck as a fitness trainer without being fit? Ask for cash up front!

    Perfect For:

    • That one guy at your office who won’t shut up about kettle bells and PX90 or whatever
    • Rep. Paul Ryan
    • People who like The Cheesecake Factory, but really wish it had a smoking section
    • Doomed-to-fail dieters
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • Caution.  The person you're about to enjoy is extremely hot.  Seriously.  So hot they need to wear a warning label to protect others from their hotness.  This is that warning.

    Extremely Hot

    Are you hotter than a piping Venti Double Expresso? Maybe you ought to warn folks.

    Perfect For:

    Buy:

  • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.  Remember those unenlightened times when we called it 'childhood?'  Before drug manufacturers had marketing departments?  We do!

    Powered by ADHD

    ADHD. Some of us recall when it used to be called 'being a kid' and didn't require meds.

    Perfect For:

    • Carefree kids and the pharmaceutical companies who see them as cash cows (here’s looking at you, Novartis)
    • Fred Baughman
    • Tom Cruise
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • Hilarious, right?  It's the perfect conversation starter!  But better yet, it's the perfect conversation  ender , too!  All it takes is a theatrical sigh to unlock it's devastating conversation-destroying power.  Use it wisely, friend!

    Conversation

    Introducing a t-shirt that's as good a conversation starter as a conversation ender!

    Perfect For:

    Buy:

  • Are you constantly the Center of Attention?  Or do you wish you were?  Buy and wear this shirt.  We promise you, you will be…  (Really, it works!  We tried it!)

    Center of Attention

    Wish you could be the Center of Attention for a change? This shirt can help. Really.

    Perfect For:

    • Adorable toddlers and adults with intellects comparable to same
    • Celebrities not yet tired of being stalked by paparazzi
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • One of the most enduring t-shirt memes of all time., 'That's How I Roll!', finally meets it match in Despair's 'Sisyphus' t-shirt.  If YOU feel like you've cursed by fate to push boulders uphill forever, why not do it in ironic style?

    Sisyphus

    Meet the pessimistic answer to the "That's How I Roll" meme! It's all Greek to us!

    Perfect For:

    • Queen Persephone, that clever girl
    • Albert Camus
    • Anyone working in a job that requires constantly doing the same thing over and over again with no point or real end in sight, not that you’d know anyone like that
    • δυσαρεστημένους φοιτητές

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  • The Ocean's Hamburger!  -   (Get it?  It's a Sea Cow?  And Cow-meat is where hamburgers… What?  You're offended?  Well, don't buy this shirt then.  Actually, please do.  Please?  It's a big laugh generator.  Or a fight starter. One of those.)

    Manatee

    Tuna is the Chicken of the Sea. The Sea Cow is the Hamburger. (Yeah. We went there.)

    Perfect For:

    • The animal rights activist with no sense of humor
    • The coastal developer with no sense of shame
    • Your vegan friend
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • Are you- or something you love- a habitual exaggerator?  Don't worry- you're not alone.  There's millions of us out there- always stretching the truth for the sake of drama or comedy.  Actually, it's trillions by now.  For real.  No really.

    Exaggerators Anonymous

    Exaggeration is a terrible habit. Yet trillions of us can't seem to help ourselves.

    Perfect For:

    • Literally every single person in the universe
    • Résumé advisers
    • Mark Twain's obituarist
    • Ben Lyons
    • Disaffected Ph.D. candidates who are really disaffected GED prep class dropouts

    Buy:

  • Our two 'official' Transportation Security Administration t-shirts are perfect travel companions.  This one says, 'We're making travel a touching experience.'  And if you wear it while you travel, you'll REALLY have a touching experience!

    TSA Touching Experience

    Wear this TSA shirt next time you fly and you'll REALLY have a touching experience!

    Buy:

  • Your naked photos are safe with us.  Don't worry. It's just our little secret.  Between you, me, the fence post, 60,000 other TSA employees, and whatever intelligence agencies can hack our crappy systems.  Totally safe.

    TSA Shirt

    Don't worry. Your naked photos are safe with with the TSA. Really. Trust them.

    Perfect For:

    Buy:

  • Facebook. Foursquare. Tumblr. Twitter. It seems like all forms of social media abet some of our worst habits and traits. Narcissism.  Attention Deficit. Even stalking. That's why we made this handy diagram!

    Social Media Venn Diagram

    Social Media. Proudly straddling the intersections of ADHD, Narcissism and Stalking.

    Perfect For:

    Buy:

  • Until your spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.  What?  You thought you could fly?  Look at yourself.  You're a flightless waterfowl of a person if we've ever seen one.  Stop flapping.  You'll be happier.  And look less idiotic, too.

    Limitations

    Until your spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

    Perfect For:

    • Lyle Lovett
    • The Despair, Inc. copywriter who just now realized he has run out of penguin jokes; how come we have so many penguin-themed designs is what he wants to know
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

    This item is currently sold out!
  • Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.  Take the Running of the Bulls.  I mean, jeez!  It's been going on for a century. Why not just go jogging and not risk perforated spleens.  Dumb!

    Tradition

    Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.

    Perfect For:

    Buy:

  • If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until your see our solutions.  One of our most popular Demotivator designs makes the leap to t-shirt form- and did it beautifully!  Buy it now, tax-free! (Unless you live in Texas.)

    Government

    If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions!

    Perfect For:

    • Democrats (also known as Republicans)
    • Republicans (also known as Democrats)
    • Independents (also known as those of us who can’t read the news without drinking very, very heavily)
    • The sad, sad American taxpayer
    • Disaffected student council presidents

    Buy:

  • Don't bother to look it up.  I'm the definition.  -- Are you so dang amazing you simply defy conventional superlatives?  Then you're WICKEDOSITY, baby!  YOU're the definition- and this shirt is your proof… Get it!

    Wickedosity

    Are you so dang amazing you simply defy conventional superlatives? Here's your shirt!

    Perfect For:

    • Arrogant lexicographers, especially:
    • The snobs at the Oxford English Dictionary who refuse to write an entry for this indisputably bad-ass new word
    • Students of the neologism
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • In a world overcrowded with ironic t-shirts, this one achieves absolute sublimity.  What shirt could possibly be more ironic than this?  Wear it - AND WIN THE IRONIC SHIRT WARS FOREVER.

    Irony

    The race to create the world's most ironic t-shirt is finally over. And guess who won?

    Perfect For:

    • Alanis Morissette, once she buys a dictionary
    • Frustrated rhetoricians
    • Detached hipsters
    • The scores of scientifically illiterate customers who have written us angry emails demanding we explain this shirt
    • Disaffected chemistry majors

    Buy:

  • American Industry isn't what it was… Millions of jobs have gone overseas - where American products can be made better,  and for less.  But at Despair, the pride is back!

    Made In USA By Robots

    Not all jobs have gone overseas... This t-shirt was Made in the USA! (By robots.)

    Perfect For:

    • Americans who work in the manufacturing industry
    • There are some of you left, right?
    • Anyone? Anyone?
    • OK, then, disaffected college students, we guess

    Buy:

  • Superiority complex? Not at all. In fact, it couldn't be simpler! Just use this formula! I>U.

    The Superioritee

    Superiority complex? Not at all. In fact, it couldn't be simpler! Just use this formula! I>U.

    Perfect For:

    • Truly Superior People
    • Truly Deluded People
    • Truly Superior Yet Deluded People
    • Yours truly, who is superior to all of the above. (and you, no offense.)

    Buy: