12 New Designs | 4 Extra Posters | Scroll down for designs!

The world’s best and worst wall calendar returns, and this time, it’s brought depressing friends! Our 2014 Demotivators® calendar features twelve entirely new, and perfectly crushing designs. And this year, we’re also throwing in four additional new designs as 12” x 11” prints, so there’s absolutely NO chance that hope can take root in your bitter heart and turn you into an idiot!

Plus, we’ve included dozens of sad, infuriating, and okay yes, sometimes hilarious historical dates. They’ll make absolutely sure you or someone you love (and/or don’t) won’t succumb to the nefarious powers of optimism! Plus, the more calendars you buy, the more you save!

2014 Wall Calendar
$17
Calendar Gift Sleeve
$2
Self-sealing, ready to mail!
Rather build a calendar?
2014 Calendar11" x "8.5"2014 Posterbook14.5" x "11"
Pick your favorites and we'll print it to order!
Featuring 12 Crushing New Designs!
  • If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.  And put your face between 'em when you do.  You'll save me a lot of trouble.  Thanks.

    Positivity

    If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. And put your face between 'em when you do. You'll save me a lot of trouble. Thanks.

  • Those who do not learn from cliches are destined to repeat them.

    Platitudes

    Those who do not learn from cliches are destined to repeat them.

  • Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.

    Foresight

    Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.

  • I believe that children are our future.  And that terrifies me.

    Knowledge

    I believe that children are our future. And that terrifies me.

  • You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you can get what you need taken from you by the government.

    Taxes

    You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you can get what you need taken from you by the government.

  • You don't have to be crazy to work here, but if you are, you'll be taken care of.

    Commitment

    You don't have to be crazy to work here, but if you are, you'll be taken care of.

  • It takes genuine talent to see greatness in yourself despite your absence of genuine talent.

    Self Esteem (pawn)

    It takes genuine talent to see greatness in yourself despite your absence of genuine talent.

  • The art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.

    Multitasking

    The art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.

  • Even the most ambitious little pebble will never grow up to be a big rock.

    Destiny (Rock)

    Even the most ambitious little pebble will never grow up to be a big rock.

  • Your attitude determines your altitude about as much as that platitude inspires my gratitude.

    Attitude

    Your attitude determines your altitude about as much as that platitude inspires my gratitude.

  • A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet.

    Friendship

    A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet.

  • If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom.

    Insignificance

    If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom.

Plus, you'll get four brand-new 12" x 11" prints!
  • I hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it.

    Aspiration

    I hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it.

  • Action will be taken to prevent the next disaster as soon as possible after it has occurred.

    Preservation

    Action will be taken to prevent the next disaster as soon as possible after it has occurred.

  • Life doesn't always want to be grabbed by the horns.

    Caution

    Life doesn't always want to be grabbed by the horns.

  • Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to achieve uncommon results, provided they don't mind you calling them "common people".

    Results

    Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to achieve uncommon results, provided they don't mind you calling them "common people".

And it's loaded with new depressing facts, and some old favorites!
  • April 5th, 2009
    April 5th, 2009
    Great moments in thinking outside-of-the-brain!
  • April 12th, 1976
    April 12th, 1976
    And you thought YOU sold your stock too early!
  • January 30th, 1926
    January 30th, 1926
    If ever there was an unsung hero, it was this guy!
  • September 25th, 1664
    September 25th, 1664
    Just another rich guy, out for a nice, pleasant afternoon ride!
  • January 10th, 1867
    January 10th, 1867
    Nowadays, a lot of high school grads couldn't do this!
  • December 2nd, 2004
    December 2nd, 2004
    Behold, the Power of Positive Thinking!
  • September 19th, 1997
    September 19th, 1997
    Video killed the radio star, then Autotune sent it to Hades!
  • October 21st, 1980/1950
    October 21st, 1980/1950
    Tragedy strikes not only Charles Schulz, but all of mankind!