- Other Stuff
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Accomplishments
You can fool all of the people all of the time if your effects budget is large enough.
View DesignAchievement
You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
View DesignAcquisition
The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish.
View DesignAdaptation
The bad news is robots can do your job now. The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians. The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots- and we do not anticipate any further good news.
View DesignArrogance
The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.
View DesignBeauty
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
View DesignBitterness
Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.
View DesignChallenges
I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.
View DesignChange
Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.
View DesignChange (winds)
When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.
View DesignCollaboration
When a motivated group of people join together, they can turn problems into opportunities. Especially drinking problems.
View DesignConsulting
If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
View DesignCreativity
Helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless- so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich.
View DesignCuriosity
Some Places Remain Unknown Because No One Has Ventured Forth. Others Remain So Because No One Has Ever Come Back.
View DesignDare To Slack
When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
View DesignDelusions
There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
View DesignDemotivation
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
View DesignDiscovery
A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
View DesignDisservice
It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.
View DesignDysfunction
The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
View DesignEconomics
The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.
View DesignElitism
It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
View DesignExcuses
If you keep asking others to give you the benefit of the doubt, they'll eventually start to doubt your benefit.
View DesignFear
Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.
View DesignFreedom
I may not agree with what you say, but I respect your right to be punished for it.
View DesignFutility
You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
View DesignGovernment
If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
View DesignHazards
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
View DesignIgnorance
It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.
View DesignIncompetence
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
View DesignIndecision
The mark of the leader is the ability to make decisions. The mark of the survivor is knowing when not to.
View DesignIndifference
It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
View DesignInsanity
It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
View DesignInspiration
Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
View DesignIntimidation
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
View DesignLegacy
It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.
View DesignLoneliness
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
View DesignMadness
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
View DesignMarketing
Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.
View DesignMediocrity
It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
View DesignMercy
Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them.
View DesignMistakes
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
View DesignMotivation
If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
View DesignOpportunity
I am Dr. Adewole Aremu- a director with the Union Bank of Nigeria in Lagos - and I wish to speak to you most urgently about a matter regarding the sum of $39,000,000 US Dollars...
View DesignOverconfidence
Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
View DesignPerspective
Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.
View DesignPessimism
Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
View DesignPlanning
Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
View DesignPossibilities
With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts.
View DesignPressure
It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
View DesignPretension
The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.
View DesignPride
The art of calling faith in yourself "Self-Esteem" while calling it "conceit" when you see it in others.
View DesignPriorities
Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.
View DesignProblems
No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.
View DesignPropaganda
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.
View DesignQuality
The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.
View DesignRegret
It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.
View DesignRetirement
Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.
View DesignRisks
If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
View DesignThe Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And Robert Frost took the one less traveled. Of course, he also heckled his rivals and started fires to disrupt their poetry readings. But that makes for a terrible motivational poster. Unless you're a petty pyromaniac. In which case, here you go.
View DesignSacrifice
Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
View DesignSanity
Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
View DesignThe Secret
What is The Secret? Pretend you've already achieved it- Then offer to sell The Secret to others.
View DesignService
View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered, and periodically buried under manure.
View DesignStupidity
Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
View DesignTradition
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
View DesignTranquility
As long as there are children in the world, there will never be any real peace.
View DesignVictory
Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.
View DesignVision
How can the future be so hard to predict when all of my worst fears keep coming true?
View DesignWinners
Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.
View DesignWisdom
Sometimes the only difference between a budding genius and a blooming idiot is where they choose to take a stand.
View DesignWishes
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
View Design
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Demotivators®new!
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2012 Calendarsnew!
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DespairWearnew!
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24 x 30 Posters
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Pessimist's Glasses
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2012 Calendarsnew!
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Exaggerators Anonymous
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Believe... Demotivator®new!
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Committees Demotivator®new!
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Obstacles Demotivator®new!
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2012 Calendarsnew!
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5 x 7 DeskToppers
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24 x 30 Lithographs
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15 oz. Coffee Mugs
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Laptop Skins
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Occupy
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Optimists
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Exaggerators Anonymous
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Center of Attention
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I > U
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Welcome to Despair
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Despair, Inc.
800 Interchange Blvd. -Suite 201
Austin, TX 78749
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About Us
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It began with a dream. A dream of the perfectly-realized American company.
A company that would create dissatisfied customers in the process of exploiting demoralized employees while selling overpriced and ineffective products to remediate the problems caused by the very process itself.
And now the dream has come true. As nightmares so often do.
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