• Business As Usual 13 Card Pack

    $20

    $20

  • Pessimistic Visions 13 Card Pack

    $20

    $20

  • Idiotic Insights 13 Card Pack

    $20

    $20

  • Underachievers 13 Card Pack

    $20

    $20

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • [Joke coming soon]
    • [Joke coming soon]
    • [Joke coming soon]
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Flash mobs
    • The American electorate
    • The Kardashians and their viewership
    • Disaffected college students currently attending their safety schools
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Tech support employees
    • Our beleaguered customer service team
    • Journalists
    • Dimwits who write us asking "Are you really suing people for trademark infringement?"
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Neil Peart
    • Poets
    • Objectivists
    • Anyone who has ever said "Oh, are you referring to a television show? I wouldn’t know, because I don’t even own a television."
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • The nine people in America who understand what it is consultants actually do
    • Advice columnists
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Fans of meta-commentaries
    • Fans of gratuitous product placement
    • Ronald Reagan and the air traffic controllers who work in the airport named for him
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Increasing productivity while decreasing morale
    • Edward "Tiger Mike" Davis
    • Scullers irritated by all the stoned canoers-in-need-of-jobby-jobs on Austin's Lady Bird Lake
    • Disaffected college coxswains
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Good-natured Linux users
    • Nuns
    • Burgess Meredith
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Groupthinkers
    • Hand models
    • Members of the United States Cabinet
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • The ever-dwindling manufacturing sector
    • The headquarters of your local labor union
    • Tony Robbins
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Salmon with delusions of grandeur
    • Hungry bears looking for something to go with that delicious beurre blanc
    • Non-vegetarians living in the Pacific Northwest (both of them)
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Gold watch manufacturers
    • The state of Florida
    • "Sexy Grandpa" t-shirt wearers
    • Disaffected college students who realize they will never be able to retire
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Anyone who ever paid to go to SpaceCamp
    • Especially if they ended up working here
    • Bill Nye, Dr. Brian May, and this guy
    • Your college-age children, who will soon be:
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Jiminy Cricket
    • People who still have nightmares from watching Deep Impact
    • Despair fans who like our other Demotivators®, but wish they took twenty minutes to read
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Mixtli-Dark Cloud
    • Tlaloc
    • Kali ma...Kali ma...Kali ma, shakthi deh!
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Machinists with quirky senses of humor
    • Workers who have nothing to lose but their chains, their salaries, their health insurance, their ability to support their families, their self-worth, and their reason to go on living
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Baldrick
    • Tiny archers
    • Dane Cook
    • The Buffalo Bills
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Cat fanciers
    • Cat despisers
    • The ASPCA
    • Henri
    • Eleanor Abernathy
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Corporate raiders
    • Overly optimistic ornithologists
    • Soon-to-be carrion
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Animal rights activists who cannot believe how far we have not come
    • Ernest Hemingway (“I hung the poster on the wall. It was funny, and colorful. Jim came with a cup of coffee. The coffee was hot, and good. We looked at the poster and laughed.”)
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • D. B. Cooper
    • George H. W. Bush
    • All of you still holding on to your parachute pants, just waiting for the comeback
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Charlie Sheen (duh)
    • End zone dance choreographers
    • Rabbit Angstrom
    • Gov. Thomas E. Dewey
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Jason "Preacher" Rowe
    • Robert "Rabbit" Nurick
    • Tim "Beltzer" Lewis
    • Robert "Ice" Van Winkle
    • Disaffected "college" students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Those who lack perspective because they have all they want
    • Those who have perspective but lack everything else, and thus look pretty pathetic, especially next to the first group
    • Douglas Spaulding
    • Disaffected college students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • The team of geniuses behind Apple Maps
    • Chevrolet Volt repair manual authors
    • Solyndra investors
    • Disaffected MBA students
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Paul Krugman (ugh)
    • Jim Cramer (UGH)
    • Ben Bernanke (UUUUGGGGGHHHH)
    • Disaffected student loan officers
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Blue-ribbon panels
    • Red-ribbon panels
    • Sad, sad brown-ribbon panels
    • Disaffected college students tricked into serving on their campus group's refreshments committee
    $5

  • Perfect For:

    • Meryl Streep in The River Wild
    • John C. Reilly in The River Wild
    • Kevin Bacon in, weirdly enough, She's Having a Baby
    • Disaffected college students with unjustifiably high self-esteem
    $5