If you happen to be or love a methane dealer, we've got the t-shirt for you!
In order to save your freedoms, we had to destroy them.
Express your outrage at his unjustified termination with our "Reappoint Tyrion" t-shirt.
Strike a little fear in the hearts of all the spastic little obnoxious whippersnappers out there.
Joffrey Lied. People Died. And now, look at all the unnecessary bloodshed.
Like the Hunger Games- many will play. And only one may be left standing.
Is your very presence a reason for calm? Relief? Joy? Then why not announce it?
Choose the form of the Destructor! Elephant? Jackass? Choose! Choose and perish!
(If you don't get it, ask a mime to explain. THEN beat him up. You know you want to.)
Want to make a quick buck as a fitness trainer without being fit? Ask for cash up front!
Are you hotter than a piping Venti Double Expresso? Maybe you ought to warn folks.
ADHD. Some of us recall when it used to be called 'being a kid' and didn't require meds.
Introducing a t-shirt that's as good a conversation starter as a conversation ender!
Wish you could be the Center of Attention for a change? This shirt can help. Really.
Meet the pessimistic answer to the "That's How I Roll" meme! It's all Greek to us!
Tuna is the Chicken of the Sea. The Sea Cow is the Hamburger. (Yeah. We went there.)
Exaggeration is a terrible habit. Yet trillions of us can't seem to help ourselves.
Wear this TSA shirt next time you fly and you'll REALLY have a touching experience!
Don't worry. Your naked photos are safe with with the TSA. Really. Trust them.
Karate Master Pat Morita once said, "If do right, no can defense." (Thanks, Pat. Thanks a lot.)
Do you LOVE hip vintage swag- but HATE wearing used clothing? Here's your solution!
The world's fastest man has a dark secret. He lives a double-life as a serial flasher!
Vote Whig. Yes, we're dead serious. They can't possibly be worse.
Bad news, Vader. Even the awesome power of the Dark Side has its limits.
No, it's not a duck, kids. In fact, it's a lot tougher than those pansy Skyrim dragons.
Social Media. Proudly straddling the intersections of ADHD, Narcissism and Stalking.
The Feds bailed out General Motors. All they asked in return was a wee bit of rebranding.
Until your spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
Optimists and Pessimists aren't the only ones with perspectives on a glass!
If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions!
Are you so dang amazing you simply defy conventional superlatives? Here's your shirt!
Do you take self-improvement very seriously- especially when it comes to others?
The race to create the world's most ironic t-shirt is finally over. And guess who won?
It's the ultimate knock-knock joke. Tell it- and watch the color drain from their faces.
Not all jobs have gone overseas... This t-shirt was Made in the USA! (By robots.)
Superiority complex? Not at all. In fact, it couldn't be simpler! Just use this formula! I>U.
Demotivators, Despair, The Pessimist's Mug, Lose Your Own Adventures and the Frowny Logo are registered trademarks of Despair, Inc. Yes, we're serious.