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  • THE NSA - In order to save your freedoms, we had to destroy them. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. And guess what? Since you've already got nothing left to lose, surely you won't mind if we help go ahead and relieve you of that freedom, too? You weren't really using it, right? Great, then! I think we're done here! (At least, we will be once we send Despair a Cease and Desist letter, and add all their employees to our watch list of potential agitators…)
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    NSA Freedom

    In order to save your freedoms, we had to destroy them.

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  • Joffrey Lied. People Died. And now, look at all the unnecessary bloodshed that’s taken place in Westeros since King Joffrey decided he knew best how to get ahead. Join us in calling for him to be deposed!
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    Depose Joffrey

    Joffrey Lied. People Died. And now, look at all the unnecessary bloodshed.

    Perfect For:

    • Neeeeeerrrrrrrrrrds!
    • Aspiring politicians who lack the electoral votes necessary to ascend to the Iron Throne of Westeros
    • I don’t know, dragons or unicorns or something
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Choose the form of the Destructor. Choose and perish! Will it be an Elephant? A Jackass? Or Puffed-up Marshmallow Man? It doesn't matter- whichever form you pick, it's still a Destructor. And it's only good at one thing.
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    The Destructor

    Choose the form of the Destructor! Elephant? Jackass? Choose! Choose and perish!

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  • Our two 'official' Transportation Security Administration t-shirts are perfect travel companions. This one says, 'We're making travel a touching experience.' And if you wear it while you travel, you'll REALLY have a touching experience!
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    TSA Touching Experience

    Wear this TSA shirt next time you fly and you'll REALLY have a touching experience!

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  • Your naked photos are safe with us. Don't worry. It's just our little secret. Between you, me, the fence post, 60,000 other TSA employees, and whatever intelligence agencies can hack our crappy systems. Totally safe.
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    TSA Shirt

    Don't worry. Your naked photos are safe with with the TSA. Really. Trust them.

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  • Vote Whig. Seriously. They can't possibly be worse. What? You thought they were as dead as Fillmore? No, they're still around. Seriously. They need your vote. And they at least deserve it more than these two asses in charge!
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    Vote Whig

    Vote Whig. Yes, we're dead serious. They can't possibly be worse.

    Perfect For:

    • Admirers of William Henry Harrison’s 30-day presidency
    • Disenchanted Free Soilers and Know Nothings in search of a new defunct political party
    • Disaffected history majors

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  • General Motors needed a bailout- bigtime. Fortunately, the Federal Government was ready and willing to spend taxpayer money to make it happen. All they asked was a little bit of rebranding. And here it is.
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    Government Motors

    The Feds bailed out General Motors. All they asked in return was a wee bit of rebranding.

    Perfect For:

    • Michael Moore and Roger Smith
    • Chevrolet Volt drivers who have not yet caught on fire
    • Disaffected college students

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  • If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until your see our solutions. One of our most popular Demotivator designs makes the leap to t-shirt form- and did it beautifully! Buy it now, tax-free! (Unless you live in Texas.)
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    Government

    If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions!

    Perfect For:

    • Democrats (also known as Republicans)
    • Republicans (also known as Democrats)
    • Independents (also known as those of us who can’t read the news without drinking very, very heavily)
    • The sad, sad American taxpayer
    • Disaffected student council presidents

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  • American Industry isn't what it was… Millions of jobs have gone overseas - where American products can be made better, and for less. But at Despair, the pride is back!
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    Made In USA By Robots

    Not all jobs have gone overseas... This t-shirt was Made in the USA! (By robots.)

    Perfect For:

    • Americans who work in the manufacturing industry
    • There are some of you left, right?
    • Anyone? Anyone?
    • OK, then, disaffected college students, we guess

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