Frownies™

Dr. E.L.Kersten, Founder and COO of Despair, Inc.,Announces Plans to Sue Millions for Trademark Infringement.

A Despair employee struggles to manufacture a Frowny(tm).

They said it couldn't be done, but we did it- we trademarked an emoticon and banned the use of it in email.

But the international outcry of rage and sorrow was too much even Despair to handle. Hundreds of emails from countries all around the globe have poured in, begging us to reconsider our controversial decision. Even a member of the perpetually cheerful citizenry of America's happiest metropolis, New York, took time to register a dignified complaint through our voicemail. Behind each outcry in every tongue, the same sentiment. An impassioned entreaty to us, that we reconsider our plans to ban the beloved symbol from the Internet.

And to our own shock, we did reconsider. And realized that we had made an enormous mistake in removing this sacred symbol of sorrow from legal Internet circulation.

In an unprecedented reversal of policy, Despair Inc. has announced that it will manufacture and sell legally-approved Frownies to the buying public who desire to continue using them in email.

In our own in-house manufacturing facility, Despair has lovingly hand-crafted three unique models of Frowny(tm) to express a variety of dolorous feelings. And incredibly, each one is compatible with all email clients!

If brevity be the soul of wit, then there's no more clever way to say "I'm miserable" than with a legally-authorized Frowny from Despair Inc!