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      The Pessimist's Mug
      12 oz glass

      $10

      Perfect For:

      • Those who like their coffee the way they like their life: dark and bitter
      • Warding off annoying "morning people"
      • Irishing up your coffee
      • Disaffected college students
      $10

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      The Pessimist's Shot Glass
      3 oz glass

      $8

      Perfect For:

      • The power of positive drinking
      • Those who prefer their negativity in adorable three-ounce servings
      • Helpfully reminding you when you're down to your last 1.5 ounces of Scotch
      • Disaffected college students (21+, of course)
      $8

    • QuickShop

      The Pessimist's Tumbler
      12 oz glass

      $10

      Perfect For:

      • Having a cold, frosty beer with your cold, frosty spouse
      • When life gives you lemons and you make lemonade, before realizing you don't even like lemonade
      • Your Tumblr of tumblers
      $10

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      The Points of View
      15 oz glass

      $12

      Perfect For:

      • People who want to drink and get a brief philosophy lesson at the same time
      • Those who want to force novelty glassware retailers to abide by the Equal Time Rule
      • Pessimists and their truly annoying optimist friends
      $12

    • QuickShop

      Mistakes Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      $15

    • QuickShop

      Procrastination Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • [Joke coming soon]
      • [Joke coming soon]
      • [Joke coming soon]
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Consulting Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • The nine people in America who understand what it is consultants actually do
      • Advice columnists
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Achievement Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      $15

    • QuickShop

      Ambition Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Salmon with delusions of grandeur
      • Hungry bears looking for something to go with that delicious beurre blanc
      • Non-vegetarians living in the Pacific Northwest (both of them)
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Potential Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Anyone who ever paid to go to SpaceCamp
      • Especially if they ended up working here
      • Bill Nye, Dr. Brian May, and this guy
      • Your college-age children, who will soon be:
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Hope Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Corporate raiders
      • Overly optimistic ornithologists
      • Soon-to-be carrion
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Tradition Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Animal rights activists who cannot believe how far we have not come
      • Ernest Hemingway (“I hung the poster on the wall. It was funny, and colorful. Jim came with a cup of coffee. The coffee was hot, and good. We looked at the poster and laughed.”)
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Government Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      $15

    • QuickShop

      Perseverance Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Jason "Preacher" Rowe
      • Robert "Rabbit" Nurick
      • Tim "Beltzer" Lewis
      • Robert "Ice" Van Winkle
      • Disaffected "college" students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Marketing Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • The team of geniuses behind Apple Maps
      • Chevrolet Volt repair manual authors
      • Solyndra investors
      • Disaffected MBA students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Underachievement Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Chilly Willy
      • Mario Lemieux
      • Tuxedo designers
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Distinction Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Malingerers
      • Goldbrickers
      • Other entertaining early 20th-century synonyms for slackers
      • Disaffected college students who need to remember to bring their Scantron and No. 2 pencils to the test tomorrow
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Adventure Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Foolhardy bike messengers
      • Semi-suicidal BMX enthusiasts
      • Teenage YOLO-ists
      • Disaffected college students
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Keep Calm Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Slow zebras
      • Your unflappable, happy-go-lucky co-worker who's about to be fired
      • British propaganda poster fetishists
      • Disaffected college students who OH MY GOD, IT'S A LION, EVERYBODY RUN
      $15

    • QuickShop

      Love Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      $15

    • QuickShop

      Shoot for the Moon Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      $15

    • QuickShop

      Revelation Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      $15

    • QuickShop

      Survival Mug

      $15

      Perfect For:

      • Bear Grylls
      • Survivor, of course
      • Itchy and Scratchy
      • Disaffected college students
      $15