SANTA CLARA, CA - August 13, 1999 - Yahoo! Inc. (Nasdaq: YHOO), the world's most popular internet portal, and Despair, Inc., the world's worst Internet company, today announced a joint-venture agreement to launch a specialized portal and brand for the miserable.

The specialty portal, called BooHoo!, would offer a branded network of comprehensive information, communication and shopping services to congenitally unhappy Internet users.

The deal follows quickly on the heels of several other partnerships between the two companies, including Despair�s prominent inclusion in Yahoo�s new �Yahoo! Greetings� initiative.

Spokesmen for both Yahoo and Despair told reporters that BooHoo! would leverage the strengths of both of companies, by combining the unparalleled brand recognition and broad reach of Yahoo! with the relentlessly miserable vision of Despair, Inc.

Dr. E.L. Kersten, 39, Founder and COO of Despair, Inc., said at a press conference, "Every single day, millions of chronically unhappy people log onto the Internet but are without a place that they feel welcome. With the unveiling of BooHoo!, we will provide these miserable wretches a single point of entry into Al Gore�s ever-growing information network."

Do You BooHoo?!: Kersten, Koogle surf the BooHoo! beta site, while a nameless ex- Yahoo! employee fights back tears.

Tim Koogle, 45, Chairman and CEO of Yahoo! echoed Kersten�s sentiments.

�Not everyone enjoys the fun-loving, quirky Yahoo! experience, and that's understandable. We believe that the BooHoo! initiative is going to radically change the way those joyless chumps use the Internet. By combining Despair�s bleak perspective with our talent for cataloging Internet content, BooHoo! will quickly become the portal of choice for the sullen, the mopy and the otherwise depressing. And we're excited about that.�

BOOHOOLIGANS!
THE WEB GUIDE FOR BRATS!

The introduction of the BooHoo! portal was only the first of several initiatives announced at the conference. In addition, Kersten and Koogle also debuted Boohooligans! (pictured below), a portal targetting obnoxious, bratty children.

Boohooligans! The Web Guide for Brats! (click here to enlarge)

Noted Dr. Kersten, �Jerry Yang�s vision in 1996 for a children's portal has now secured Yahoo! the largest share of child users in the market. Recent Media Matrix polls show Yahooligans! with a 23.2% of child users from age two to eleven, with no other portal coming close to that. With Boohooligans!, we will expand that position in the marketplace by serving the specific portal needs of unhappy brats.�

Kersten elaborated, �Any parent with bratty kids knows bratdom begins in �the terrible twos�. And psychologists tell us that most truly obnoxious brats will blossom into maladjusted, unhappy adults. With Boohooligans!, we�re creating a portal that facilititates that transition smoothly.�

Kersten said he believes Boohooligans! will not only appeal to the topical interest of brats, by focusing on the issues they regularly gripe about, but also will appeal aesthetically to them by incorporating the incredibly popular �green goo� motif of Yahooligans!

�There is something about green goo that drives kids nuts, especially brats. They want to own it. Possess it. And put it in people�s hair...�, said Kersten, with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.

He then surprised the crowd by revealing that Despair, Inc. even planned to sell its own special brand of green goo through Boohooligans!, called, �Psycho Alien Snot(tm)�.

Beaming, Kersten told reporters, �This goo, available exclusively through the Boohooligans! portal, is authentic psycho alien snot, imported from the Cydonian region of Mars- not the fake stuff made in Taiwan. Brats will eat it up. Literally.�

The conference grew briefly chaotic, as several reporters voiced their disdain for the �Psycho Alien Snot� product marketing concept.

Tim Koogle, appearently himself surprised by the announcement, glowered uncomfortably.

The unflappable Kersten, no stranger to hostile crowds, replied coolly, �Maybe you�re not ready for that yet. But your brats are going to love it...�

"This goo, available exclusively through the Boohooligans! portal, is authentic psycho alien snot..." An uncomfortable Tim Koogle looks on while Kersten details plans to sell Despair-branded goo through Boohooligans.

BOOHOO! CORPORATE OVERVIEW

With the presentation reaching an uncomfortable conclusion, the floor was opened for questions.

Tom Davey, a reporter with Redherring.com, stood to ask Koogle, �Assuming there really is a need for BooHoo!, Tim, how are you going to pull it off? Isn�t human misery far outside of Yahoo!�s core competence?"

Koogle nodded, �You�re absolutely right, Tom. We need a portal for the miserable, by the miserable. That's why BooHoo! will be be a subsidiary of Despair, Inc., peopled mostly with ex-Yahoo! employees.�

Elaborating, Tim Koogle offered that Yahoo! had already sold 313 employees to BooHoo! in exchange for a minority position in the subsidiary.

Dr. Kersten quickly added, "And although 313 employees were acquired, I plan to fire 100 or so tomorrow to help me get over buyer's remorse. I think I spent too much."

Neither would not detail what criteria, if any, had been used for determining which Yahoo! employees were transferred, although Koogle did offer, �These folks couldn�t really Yahoo! as well as we�d like. But we think they�ll BooHoo! like pros.�

Insiders familiar with Koogle's parlance believed this may have been a veiled reference to a lack of yodeling aptitude, a talent highly regarded within Yahoo!.

Malcolm Maclachlan, a reporter with TechWeb, then asked, �What about morale, Dr. Kersten? How big a problem do you anticipate this being within BooHoo! ?�

Kersten nodded, answering, �Clearly, there could be a morale problem at first, as we transition previously carefree, wealthy Yahoo! employees into the BooHoo! fold. But when we encounter any morale at BooHoo! we�ll eliminate it. We have the tools, believe me.�

�NO MORALE PROBLEMS EXPECTED�: After the conference, Kersten makes good on his promise to eliminate morale problems by taking time to rid two BooHoo! employees of their morale.

THE CULTURE OF BOOHOO! : �QUIRKY, OFFBEAT, TERRIFYING�

Bambi Francisco, with CBS Marketwatch, asked pointedly, �Dr. Kersten, do you really think you can combine the cultures of Yahoo! and Despair without killing both?�

Kersten nodded, saying, �the culture issue is certainly one of the biggest challenges ahead, but I�m confidant that a hybrid culture can be fashioned within BooHoo! , one that combines the fun quirkiness of Yahoo! with the debasing terror of Despair, Inc.�

Many reporters laughed openly at the suggestion, calling the idea �ridiculous� and �impossible�, with the testy Francisco sniping back, �What, are we talking about yellow and purple thumbscrews here, Dr. Kersten?�

Kersten, non-plussed, elaborated, �Don�t be silly, Bambi. Quirky and debasing aren�t mutually exclusive.�

He then offered an illustration.

�For example, one idea we came up with was actually borrowed from a producer in Yahoo!�s finance division. He gained a little media notariety after getting the Yahoo! logo tattoed on his behind.�

�Now, that by itself is pretty quirky. But when we decided to make it mandatory for all employees of BooHoo! to have the BooHoo! logo tattooed on their buttocks, it added an element of true debasement to the mix. I mean, how do one explain the word BooHoo! on your buttock in the showers at the gym, Bambi? Or to a spouse?�

Shaking her head, Francisco finally relented, conceding the point.

The conference then drew to a quiet close, with Tim Koogle politely thanking reporters for their time and Dr. Kersten adding, "Free samples of "Psycho Alien Snot" are available as you leave. Perfect for ages 2 through 12."

Then, as if he had suddenly remembered something, he added, "Oh, and for disaffected college students."