Clothes may make the man, but our clothes make the man sad. Most of the time, anyway. Every once in a while they might prompt a chuckle- but it’s only a begrudging, ‘yeah, alright, I get it’ sort of laugh. A bitter joke between fellow pessimists that alleviates the perpetual agony of your clear-sightedness not one tiny bit... (Now, buy some!)
Our tees are 100% soft jersey cotton. Ladies tees have a youthful fit and run small. As a rule, order a size larger than you usually buy. And guys, be honest with yourself. You’re bigger than you think. And it’s not 'cause you’ve been working out. Unless you call lifting a beer to your yap a workout. Mom called you “Husky”. It was cheaper than fat camp.
All our DespairWear t-shirts are proudly printed right here in the USA. By robots. (Or people who make even less than robots do.) Not that we want you to feel guilty about buying them. In fact, you BETTER buy them. NOW. Or we'll just lay off guys like Topher here. With his big, sad puppy dog eyes. Don't make us fire Topher. Not again.