Demotivators (By Name

For longer than most can remember, motivational speakers, authors and publishers have inspired and delighted us by championing the idea that within each person exists virtually unlimited potential.

At Despair, Inc., we agree wholeheartedly- and helping others to unleash their hidden potentials remains our singular obsession.

Think about it- what hidden potentials exist within YOU?

Perhaps you're a wholly reasonable person, with the potential to become an irrational fool? Perhaps you're a team player, with a potentially argumentative loner lurking about inside you? Or perhaps you're a dreamer, within whom lives a potentially disillusioned grouse, simply waiting to take flight on the wings of bitterness?

For the first time, one company has stepped forth with tools for unleashing such hidden potentials. No matter who you are, you have the potential to be so very much less. And with the transformative powers of our Demotivators® products, you will be.

E.L. Kersten, Ph.D.
Founder and COO
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View All Demotivators®	Achievement You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.	Adversity That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.



Agony Not all pain is gain.	Ambition The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly	Apathy If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.



Arrogance The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.	Beauty If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.	Bitterness Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.



Blame The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.	Burnout Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.	Challenges I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.



Change When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.	Cluelessness There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.	Compromise Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.



Conformity When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.	Consistency It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.	Consulting If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.



Cust. Disservice Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.	Cust. Care If we really care for the customer we'd send them somewhere better.	DaretoSlack When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.



Defeat For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.	Delusions There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.	Demotivation Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.



Despair It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.	Destiny You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.	Discovery A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.



Disloyalty There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.	Disservice It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.	Do it Later The early worm is for the birds.



Doubt In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.	Dreams Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.	Dysfunction The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.



Effort Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.	Elitism It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.	Failure When your best just isn't good enough.



Fear Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea	Flattery If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.	Futility You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.



Get To Work You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.	Give Up At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.	Goals It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.



Hazards There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.	Hope May not be warranted at this point.	Humiliation The harder you try, the dumber you look.



Idiocy Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.	Ignorance It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.	Incompetence When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.



Indifference It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.	Individuality Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.	Ineptitude If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.



Insanity It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.	Inspiration Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.	Intimidation No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.



Irresponsibility No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.	Laziness Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.	Leaders Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.



Limitations Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.	Loneliness If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.	Losing If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.



Madness Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"	Mediocrity It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.	Meetings None of us is as dumb as all of us.



Misfortune While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.	Mistakes It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.	Motivation If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.



Nepotism We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members.	Overconfidence Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.	Pessimism Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.



Persistence It's over, man. Let her go.	Planning Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.	Possibilities With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts.



Potential Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.	Power Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.	Pressure It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.



Pretension The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.	Problems No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them	Procrastination Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.



Propaganda What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.	Quality The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.	Regret It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second



Retirement Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.	Risks If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.	Sacrifice Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.



Sacrifice (Temple) All we ask here is that you give us your heart.	Strife As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.	Stupidity Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.



Success Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.	Teamwork A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.	Tradition Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.



Trouble Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.	Underachievement The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.	Wishes When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.



Worth Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.