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  • Build Your Own 2014 Calendar

    You choose your start month, your favorite demotivational designs, and we'll print it and ship it to you in no time! It's the perfect year-round heartbreaker!

  • The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.
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    Ambition

    The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

    Perfect For:

    • Salmon with delusions of grandeur
    • Hungry bears looking for something to go with that delicious beurre blanc
    • Non-vegetarians living in the Pacific Northwest (both of them)
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.
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    Believe in Yourself

    Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

    Perfect For:

    • Meryl Streep in The River Wild
    • John C. Reilly in The River Wild
    • Kevin Bacon in, weirdly enough, She's Having a Baby
    • Disaffected college students with unjustifiably high self-esteem

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  • You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.
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    Get To Work

    You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

    Perfect For:

    • Increasing productivity while decreasing morale
    • Edward "Tiger Mike" Davis
    • Scullers irritated by all the stoned canoers-in-need-of-jobby-jobs on Austin's Lady Bird Lake
    • Disaffected college coxswains

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  • If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
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    Government

    If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.

    Perfect For:

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  • It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.
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    Legacy

    It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.

    Perfect For:

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  • It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
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    Mistakes

    It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

    Perfect For:

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  • If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
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    Motivation

    If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

    Perfect For:

    • The ever-dwindling manufacturing sector
    • The headquarters of your local labor union
    • Tony Robbins
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn is that you're not a very good team.
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    Team Building

    Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn is that you're not a very good team.

    Perfect For:

    • The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
    • The 1962 New York Mets
    • The 1997-98 Denver Nuggets
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.
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    Underachievement (Penguin)

    Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.

    Perfect For:

    • Chilly Willy
    • Mario Lemieux
    • Tuxedo designers
    • Disaffected college students

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