• Build Your Own 2014 Calendar

    You choose your start month, your favorite demotivational designs, and we'll print it and ship it to you in no time! It's the perfect year-round heartbreaker!

  • The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

    Ambition

    The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

    Perfect For:

    • Salmon with delusions of grandeur
    • Hungry bears looking for something to go with that delicious beurre blanc
    • Non-vegetarians living in the Pacific Northwest (both of them)
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

    Believe in Yourself

    Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

    Perfect For:

    • Meryl Streep in The River Wild
    • John C. Reilly in The River Wild
    • Kevin Bacon in, weirdly enough, She's Having a Baby
    • Disaffected college students with unjustifiably high self-esteem

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  • You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

    Get To Work

    You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

    Perfect For:

    • Increasing productivity while decreasing morale
    • Edward "Tiger Mike" Davis
    • Scullers irritated by all the stoned canoers-in-need-of-jobby-jobs on Austin's Lady Bird Lake
    • Disaffected college coxswains

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  • If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.

    Government

    If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.

    Perfect For:

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  • It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary.  You have about seventy-four.

    Legacy

    It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.

    Perfect For:

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  • It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

    Mistakes

    It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

    Perfect For:

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  • If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job.  The kind robots will be doing soon.

    Motivation

    If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

    Perfect For:

    • The ever-dwindling manufacturing sector
    • The headquarters of your local labor union
    • Tony Robbins
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn is that you're not a very good team.

    Team Building

    Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn is that you're not a very good team.

    Perfect For:

    • The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
    • The 1962 New York Mets
    • The 1997-98 Denver Nuggets
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.

    Underachievement (Penguin)

    Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.

    Perfect For:

    • Chilly Willy
    • Mario Lemieux
    • Tuxedo designers
    • Disaffected college students

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