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  • The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.
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    Ambition

    The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

    Perfect For:

    • Salmon with delusions of grandeur
    • Hungry bears looking for something to go with that delicious beurre blanc
    • Non-vegetarians living in the Pacific Northwest (both of them)
    • Disaffected college students

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  • I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.
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    Challenges

    I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

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  • At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.
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    Give Up

    At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

    Perfect For:

    • Cat fanciers
    • Cat despisers
    • The ASPCA
    • Henri
    • Eleanor Abernathy
    • Disaffected college students

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  • May not be warranted at this point.
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    Hope

    May not be warranted at this point.

    Perfect For:

    • Corporate raiders
    • Overly optimistic ornithologists
    • Soon-to-be carrion
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
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    Individuality

    Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

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  • Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
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    Limitations

    Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

    Perfect For:

    • Good-natured Linux users
    • Nuns
    • Burgess Meredith
    • Disaffected college students

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  • It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
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    Mistakes

    It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

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  • Some things can not be overcome with determination and a positive attitude.
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    Obstacles

    Some things can not be overcome with determination and a positive attitude.

    Perfect For:

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  • Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
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    Potential

    Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

    Perfect For:

    • Anyone who ever paid to go to SpaceCamp
    • Especially if they ended up working here
    • Bill Nye, Dr. Brian May, and this guy
    • Your college-age children, who will soon be:
    • Disaffected college students

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  • When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
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    Wishes

    When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

    Perfect For:

    • Jiminy Cricket
    • People who still have nightmares from watching Deep Impact
    • Despair fans who like our other Demotivators®, but wish they took twenty minutes to read
    • Disaffected college students

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