• Build Your Own 2015 Calendar

    You choose your start month, your favorite demotivational designs, and we'll print it and ship it to you in no time! It's the perfect year-round heartbreaker!

  • The bad news is robots can do your job now.  The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians.  The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots- and we do not anticipate any further good news.

    Adaptation

    The bad news is robots can do your job now. The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians. The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots- and we do not anticipate any further good news.

    Perfect For:

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  • Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

    Believe in Yourself

    Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

    Perfect For:

    • Meryl Streep in The River Wild
    • John C. Reilly in The River Wild
    • Kevin Bacon in, weirdly enough, She's Having a Baby
    • Disaffected college students with unjustifiably high self-esteem

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  • Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

    Demotivation

    Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

    Perfect For:

    • Fans of meta-commentaries
    • Fans of gratuitous product placement
    • Ronald Reagan and the air traffic controllers who work in the airport named for him
    • Disaffected college students

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  • You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

    Get To Work

    You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

    Perfect For:

    • Increasing productivity while decreasing morale
    • Edward "Tiger Mike" Davis
    • Scullers irritated by all the stoned canoers-in-need-of-jobby-jobs on Austin's Lady Bird Lake
    • Disaffected college coxswains

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  • At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

    Give Up

    At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

    Perfect For:

    • Cat fanciers
    • Cat despisers
    • The ASPCA
    • Henri
    • Eleanor Abernathy
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

    Limitations

    Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

    Perfect For:

    • Good-natured Linux users
    • Nuns
    • Burgess Meredith
    • Disaffected college students

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  • It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

    Mistakes

    It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

    Perfect For:

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  • If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job.  The kind robots will be doing soon.

    Motivation

    If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

    Perfect For:

    • The ever-dwindling manufacturing sector
    • The headquarters of your local labor union
    • Tony Robbins
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Some things can not be overcome with determination and a positive attitude.

    Obstacles

    Some things can not be overcome with determination and a positive attitude.

    Perfect For:

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  • Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

    Potential

    Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

    Perfect For:

    • Anyone who ever paid to go to SpaceCamp
    • Especially if they ended up working here
    • Bill Nye, Dr. Brian May, and this guy
    • Your college-age children, who will soon be:
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

    Procrastination

    Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

    Perfect For:

    • [Joke coming soon]
    • [Joke coming soon]
    • [Joke coming soon]
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.

    Retirement

    Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.

    Perfect For:

    • Gold watch manufacturers
    • The state of Florida
    • "Sexy Grandpa" t-shirt wearers
    • Disaffected college students who realize they will never be able to retire

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  • All we ask here is that you give us your heart.

    Sacrifice (Temple)

    All we ask here is that you give us your heart.

    Perfect For:

    • Mixtli-Dark Cloud
    • Tlaloc
    • Kali ma...Kali ma...Kali ma, shakthi deh!
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.

    Underachievement (Penguin)

    Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.

    Perfect For:

    • Chilly Willy
    • Mario Lemieux
    • Tuxedo designers
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.

    Winners

    Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.

    Perfect For:

    • Charlie Sheen (duh)
    • End zone dance choreographers
    • Rabbit Angstrom
    • Gov. Thomas E. Dewey
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

    Worth

    Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

    Perfect For:

    • Machinists with quirky senses of humor
    • Workers who have nothing to lose but their chains, their salaries, their health insurance, their ability to support their families, their self-worth, and their reason to go on living
    • Disaffected college students

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