• Build Your Own 2014 Calendar

    You choose your start month, your favorite demotivational designs, and we'll print it and ship it to you in no time! It's the perfect year-round heartbreaker!

  • Life doesn't always want to be grabbed by the horns.

    Caution

    Life doesn't always want to be grabbed by the horns.

    Perfect For:

    • Customers who wanted to see our Tradition design taken to its logical conclusion
    • Unreliable rodeo clowns
    • Disaffected college students
  • If wishes were horses then dreamers would ride.  But they're much more like cattle, so best grab a shovel.

    Wishes (Cow)

    If wishes were horses then dreamers would ride. But they're much more like cattle, so best grab a shovel.

    Perfect For:

    • Little dogies in need of gittin' along
    • Your all-hat-and-no-cattle manager
    • Aggies
    • Disaffected students at one of them fancy book-learnin' places
  • It takes genuine talent to see greatness in yourself despite your absence of genuine talent.

    Self Esteem (pawn)

    It takes genuine talent to see greatness in yourself despite your absence of genuine talent.

  • Action will be taken to prevent the next disaster as soon as possible after it has occurred.

    Preservation

    Action will be taken to prevent the next disaster as soon as possible after it has occurred.

    Perfect For:

  • A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet.

    Friendship

    A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet.

    Perfect For:

    • Ross, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe, the characters on a beloved '90s sitcom the name of which eludes us at the moment
    • Your best pal in the world, who you relentlessly talk about behind her back
    • Disaffected college students
  • Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.

    Foresight

    Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.

    Perfect For:

    • Starry-eyed dreamers in full body casts
    • Those who refuse to let the laws of physics tell them how to have a good time
    • That cynic in the QA department
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • You don't have to be crazy to work here, but if you are, you'll be taken care of.

    Commitment

    You don't have to be crazy to work here, but if you are, you'll be taken care of.

    Perfect For:

    • Nurses with the most depressing work assignment ever
    • Adolescents in need of repair
    • Nurse Ratched, Mac, and The Chief
    • REALLY disaffected college students
  • Those who do not learn from cliches are destined to repeat them.

    Platitudes

    Those who do not learn from cliches are destined to repeat them.

  • Even the most ambitious little pebble will never grow up to be a big rock.

    Destiny (Rock)

    Even the most ambitious little pebble will never grow up to be a big rock.

    Perfect For:

    • Zen masters
    • Small, small people with big, big dreams
    • The fruitlessly ambitious
    • Disaffected college students
  • I hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it.

    Aspiration

    I hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it.

    Perfect For:

    • Pretty much any government employee
    • Extreme nappers, aggro sitters, adventure slumberers, and adherents of the P90Nap workout
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • Your attitude determines your altitude about as much as that platitude inspires my gratitude.

    Attitude

    Your attitude determines your altitude about as much as that platitude inspires my gratitude.

    Perfect For:

    • Motivational industry refuseniks
    • Enemies of hyper-positive wordplay
    • Employees fed up with meaningless management propaganda
    • Disaffected college students
  • If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom.

    Insignificance

    If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom.

    Perfect For:

    • Interns
    • Entry-level employees
    • Goldfish fanciers
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • I believe that children are our future.  And that terrifies me.

    Knowledge

    I believe that children are our future. And that terrifies me.

    Perfect For:

    • Hanging in a well-concealed area of your teachers' lounge
    • Students who see nothing wrong with the pictured equation
    • Disaffected college instructors

    Buy:

  • The art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.

    Multitasking

    The art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.

    Perfect For:

    • Overextended employees and the bosses who don't care about them
    • Those who have the confidence to screw up two things at once
    • Spork enthusiasts
    • Disaffected college students

    Buy:

  • If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.  And put your face between 'em when you do.  You'll save me a lot of trouble.  Thanks.

    Positivity

    If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. And put your face between 'em when you do. You'll save me a lot of trouble. Thanks.

    Perfect For:

    • Pollyannas
    • Optimist Club members whose meeting place has been foreclosed upon
    • Creepy guys who tell every woman they see to smile
    • Disaffected college students
  • You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you can get what you need taken from you by the government.

    Taxes

    You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you can get what you need taken from you by the government.

    Perfect For:

    • Our customers in Texas, who have to pay sales tax on our products in order to keep our state's roads in constant disrepair
    • Accountants, for whom April is definitely not the cruellest month
    • Disaffected college students with jobs, who are just now learning about the joys of FICA
  • Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to achieve uncommon results, provided they don't mind you calling them "common people".

    Results

    Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to achieve uncommon results, provided they don't mind you calling them "common people".

    Perfect For: