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  • Build Your Own 2014 Calendar

    You choose your start month, your favorite demotivational designs, and we'll print it and ship it to you in no time! It's the perfect year-round heartbreaker!

  • Keep living life like there's no tomorrow and you'll be right sooner than you think.
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    Adventure

    Keep living life like there's no tomorrow and you'll be right sooner than you think.

    Perfect For:

    • Foolhardy bike messengers
    • Semi-suicidal BMX enthusiasts
    • Teenage YOLO-ists
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned individuals can change the world. Indeed, it's how we got stuck with the IRS, the Federal Reserve and the Mafia.
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    Change

    Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned individuals can change the world. Indeed, it's how we got stuck with the IRS, the Federal Reserve and the Mafia.

    Perfect For:

    • Owners of earnestly bumper-stickered Volvos
    • Ben Bernanke, of course
    • The Chicken Man
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work.
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    Distinction

    Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work.

    Perfect For:

    • Malingerers
    • Goldbrickers
    • Other entertaining early 20th-century synonyms for slackers
    • Disaffected college students who need to remember to bring their Scantron and No. 2 pencils to the test tomorrow

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  • He who chases rainbows may eventually catch tornadoes.
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    Illusions

    He who chases rainbows may eventually catch tornadoes.

    Perfect For:

    • Kermit, who seems to be under the impression there are more songs about rainbows than there actually are
    • Hungrybear9562
    • Disaffected college students (especially in Kansas)

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  • We'll get to the carrion part in a minute.
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    Keep Calm

    We'll get to the carrion part in a minute.

    Perfect For:

    • Slow zebras
    • Your unflappable, happy-go-lucky co-worker who's about to be fired
    • British propaganda poster fetishists
    • Disaffected college students who OH MY GOD, IT'S A LION, EVERYBODY RUN

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  • Money can't buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you've got those covered, you'll be fighting love off with a stick.
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    Love

    Money can't buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you've got those covered, you'll be fighting love off with a stick.

    Perfect For:

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  • Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Sometimes your spirit tags along with it.
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    Pain

    Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Sometimes your spirit tags along with it.

    Perfect For:

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  • The downside of being ahead of your time is that your ruins might end up a playground for cavorting druids.
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    Revelation

    The downside of being ahead of your time is that your ruins might end up a playground for cavorting druids.

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  • Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a damn showoff.
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    Shoot for the Moon

    Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a damn showoff.

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  • Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Especially to your friends.
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    Survival

    Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Especially to your friends.

    Perfect For:

    • Bear Grylls
    • Survivor, of course
    • Itchy and Scratchy
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn is that you're not a very good team.
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    Team Building

    Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn is that you're not a very good team.

    Perfect For:

    • The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
    • The 1962 New York Mets
    • The 1997-98 Denver Nuggets
    • Disaffected college students

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  • Ensuring that your hard work can always be ruined by someone else's incompetence.
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    Teamwork

    Ensuring that your hard work can always be ruined by someone else's incompetence.

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